What to Say When a Guy Asks What You Like in Bed

Think of it as an invitation to write your own pleasure script.

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Few questions are as loaded—and as exciting—as when a guy asks, “So… what do you like in bed?”

On one hand, it can make you blush or freeze up if you’re not used to talking about sex openly. On the other hand, it’s actually a green flag.

He’s asking because he wants to know how to please you. He’s not a mind reader, and everybody craves something a little different. Answering honestly opens the door to better intimacy, hotter sex, and a stronger connection.

But let’s be real: not everyone feels comfortable sharing.

Some people worry about being judged. Some keep things vague because they don’t want to scare a partner off with fantasies that might feel “too much.” Others simply get shy putting their desires into words.

The good news? There are playful, pressure-free ways to answer that question without feeling awkward or overexposed.

Here’s how to talk about what you like in bed in a way that actually turns him on.

1. Use the “Praise & Request” Method

Pair a compliment with a simple question. This takes the edge off and makes your partner feel appreciated while letting them know what turns you on.

• “I love how soft your lips are, and would love you to kiss me more.”
• “Your hands on my skin feel amazing—don’t stop.”
• “I love when you go down on me. Stay there a little longer.”

It’s clear, sexy, and affirming all at once.

2. Start Small, Build Up

You don’t have to unload your entire fantasy vault in one conversation. Begin with something light and straightforward:

• “I’d love it if you kissed my neck.”
• “Let’s take it slow tonight.”

Once you’re comfortable with those small requests, level up. Suggest a position you’ve been curious about or admit how much you’d love some dirty talk. Enthusiasm is contagious—the more excited you sound, the more turned on he’ll be too.

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3. Let Your Body Lead

Sometimes it’s easier to show than tell.

Take his hand and guide it where you want it. Whisper in his ear exactly how you like to be touched. Guide his pace with your body and say, “Yes, just like that—don’t stop.” 

A little physical leading plus a hint of verbal instruction makes things very clear, while still keeping the mood hot.

4. Try Sexting

If you get tongue-tied in person, texting can be your playground. Writing gives you space to be bolder, to let your imagination run wild.

Describe your dream sex scenario, hint at what you’re craving, or send playful prompts. When you finally meet up, he’ll already have the script in his head, and likely be eager to deliver.

You can send suggestive, flirty prompts like:

• “I can’t stop thinking about you pinning me against the wall.”
• “Tonight, I want you to take your time with me. No rushing.”
• “My dream is you teasing me until I can’t take it anymore.”

5. Have a Chill, Out-of-Bed Talk

Not every conversation about sex has to happen mid-makeout. Plus, if you feel awkward talking about sex during sex, you can sometimes bring it up over drinks or while cuddling on the couch makes it easier.

The pressure’s off, you’re both relaxed, and you can really listen to each other. It also gives him the chance to share what he likes, which makes the exchange feel mutual rather than one-sided.

6. Be Gentle With Your Requests

It’s okay to want more of what you enjoy, or to introduce new ideas. The key is phrasing it in a way that shows care for both of you:

• “I’d love it if we could experiment with ____ sometime.”
• “I’d like to explore ____. How do you feel about it?”
• “I’ve loved when we’ve tried ____. Can we do more of that?”

Wrap-Up: When He Asks What You Like in Bed

When a guy asks what you like in bed, he’s handing you the mic.

So, yes, be honest. But start small, stay playful, and let honesty build over time. The more you talk (and show), the hotter and more satisfying your sex life will become.